Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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