you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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