Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Still dying that you shit outside
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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