doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
