I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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