I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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