Plan B is the new Plan A
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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