this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
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Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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