haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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