First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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