Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
