Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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