I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
