Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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