boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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