fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
