Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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