Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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