Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
