this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
