I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just had sex on a roof
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
