I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
