Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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