Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
