if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
