with your own penis?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
i've created a new STD.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
