Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
