from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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