I just pynch a tree in the face
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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