Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
