your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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