i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
