She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
