I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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