Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
