it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
