WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
