no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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