T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize