my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
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It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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