I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
