Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize