he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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