Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
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Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
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You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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