i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
