There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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