i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize