It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just pee around me
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
