come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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