i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize