The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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