I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
