I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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