so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
