8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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