Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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