So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
