whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
