Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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