well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
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I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
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Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
i think im in europe. pls send help
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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