so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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