We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
