at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
