When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize