dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
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Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
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I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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