why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
