well you can't waste a boner
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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